Just Can't Help It...

Sometimes when I sit back down
Sometimes when I lay me down to rest
Can't help but to think of all those things
That happened between you and me
And all those mistakes I made
All that hurt that I caused you
Can't help but to regret it all…
And it happens more than often…

Can't help but to want to yell
In anger against myself…
I told you so many things back then
Even made you some promises
And then I denied them all
And pushed you away…
Feel so empty now…

Can't help but to ask myself
Why did I do the things I did
Wish I could turn back time
And simply erase all the mistakes I made
Erase all that history…
But I'm not even sure I would want to erase it all
Because even though in the end I failed
Those moments I spent with you
Were some of the best of my life…

And I just can't help but to think of you now
Just can't help but to look at you
Every time I see you now
Just can't stop looking at you…
And then I feel all those feelings coming back
Rushing over me like a furious wave on the sea
But can't do nothing about it now
You are long gone from me
You always stay far away from me now…
As if you were afraid of something
And I'm all alone here in the dark
Just staring at you
With a heavy painful soul
And a heart full of sadness and regret

And when I see you now
And I remember what I did
Can't help but to think less of myself
Can't help but to feel like just half of a man
The other half was gone when you were
Too bad I only figured this out late
After you were long gone…
Can't be truly happy now
Because my happiness is gone…

Can't help but to wonder
How would things be today
If we had stayed together
You and me…
Would I be a better man?
But there's a wall inside my mind
And I just can't picture it anymore
It's like I'm a prisoner of this past
This past that I created…
And became caged inside…

Can't help but to wonder
How would it be now
If we were back together
You and me…
But feels like it would be impossible…
Because I look at you and I look at me
And I see that our lives are so different now…
I don't know if I could do it
Don't know if I have the courage
Feel so afraid of what might happen
What if I failed you again
Wouldn't be able to live with myself then
Wouldn't be able to look in the mirror
Would only see a thousand broken pieces
Don't even know if I deserve you anymore…

Wish I were just a simple man
But life got so complicated
And now I'm broken on the ground
Don't know if I can pick up the pieces
Don't know if I can become that man again
Don't know if I can love again…
Once I was a whole…
Now that I'm just a half
Feels so empty…

I look at you and I see you smiling
Are you truly happy?
Is your heart still in one piece?
Or is it broken like mine?
Do you still have those feelings somewhere inside?
That you once told me you did?
Do you still love me?
Forgive me for asking…
But just can't help to wonder…
Don't even know if I want to hear the answer…